Pastry Shop Apple Tart

I love to watch instructional cooking shows.

Usually, I watch them while I eat, via Youtube. It's getting harder and harder to find  episodes of shows I haven't already seen because I am dependent upon other posters for content. This means that I've had to get creative and be open to other shows.

I have been known to engage in some "Autoplay Roulette", falling at the mercy of the Youtube algorithm.

For this, I am wildly thankful because it brought me to Laura Calder and "French Food at Home".

I have watched every video, read every book. Laura's approach to cooking was mesmerizing. Simple, easy...yet beautiful and elegant.

Most things are done by hand, without the aid of gadgets and fancy tools. Ingredients are (sometimes) imprecise. The focus is on the experience of enjoying the food, in every aspect: shopping, preparation and cooking. Not just eating.

As a extra little shot of sunshine; the jaunty French background music makes me smile.

I remember looking for a recipe exactly like this for a cooking competition. I had entered all of the categories; one being "pie"...and I suck at pie. I was trying to find a way around "pie" because I wanted a winner (I hate to lose).

Weeks of internet searching brought me to Laura Calder's Easy Pastry Shop Apple Tart.

It was perfect; not a cake and not a pie.

I have made this dessert a thousand times. It is the perfect dessert to make when you don't know what to bring and are short on time.

The filling is very plain, meant to compliment the apples and cinnamon. It can literally take any flavouring you care to throw at it and works with almost any fruit.

I have made a thousand variations of this tart usually based on whatever I have in my pantry when I need it (which is usually at the very last minute).

Variations tried:

Peach and cranberry (cream layer spiced with mace, cinnamon, fresh grated ginger and Peach Schnapps - in place of the vanilla)

 

Peach and raspberry (cream layer spiced with nutmeg, cinnamon, fresh grated ginger and Peach Schnapps - in place of the vanilla): In this variation, I had some raspberry pie filling left from a galette. I heated it and mixed it with a shot of raspberry vodka and put this on the bottom of the crust, before the cream layer. I took it to a dinner party at my favorite cousin 's house. I didn't get a picture of it (sad face), but I did hear someone say, "who made this? This is fucking phenomenal!". I cried all the way home, in the car.

Pear and Almond: I made this with a package of bosc pears I bought from the "reject rack" at Food Basics ($1.50 for about 10 pears). Pastry layer made with added almond extract, cream layer spiced with nothing at all but I did add a generous splash of Disarronno (almond liqueur). The pears were tossed in brown sugar, cinnamon, slivered almonds and a scant pinch of star anise. Danny said it was the best dessert I ever made. I also cried.

Cranberry, Orange and Chinese five spice: I put three generous tablespoons of orange zest (and orange extract in the pastry dough. In the pastry cream, I used a generous teaspoon of Chinese five spice and a quarter cup of orange marmalade I thinned with Grand Marnier. I added 2 tablespoons of dark brown sugar to the filling to balance the bitterness of the orange marmalade.

No photo of this one. Too many complaints about having to take "a stupid photo, when we're just gonna eat it, anyways."

In case you're wondering: yes. It stomped on my joy. Also, having had my joy stomped upon, it did not taste good. Everyone else said it was great. To me, it tasted heavy and sad.

Blackberry and Apple: Recipe as written for apple, with added cinnamon, mace, cloves and nutmeg. Splash of (frighteningly expensive) Calvados (apple brandy) in the pastry cream.

Notes on variations and additions:

My tarte pan is 13". I always double the filling and the crust, to make sure that I have enough.

This tarte can take a lot. Don't be afraid to play with it. 

Love.

Corny Bread

Corn bread. Nothing goes better with a steamy hot bowl of chili con carne.

When your favorite cousin calls to say, "hey, c'mon over to my house for dinner and hangouts!", you say yes. If you're anything like me, you ask what's for dinner and what you can make.

Usually, she says, "bring nothing. Just bring you". Of course, that never flies with me. I never show up at a dinner party (no matter how casual) empty handed. I was raised better than that.

I always get a half hearted tongue lashing about "not listening" and "not doing as I am told". But so far, I have never gone home with less than an empty plate. Hint taken.

I'm a dessert master and I always bring something sweet and delectable.

But this time, I wanted to bring something to go with the main.

I don't eat much chili. I don't eat a lot of tomatoes (heartburn) and I spent a week racking my brain to come up with something to take to dinner and couldn't come up with a thing.

So, off to the Internet I went. I consulted friends in a cooking group, who all said, "cornbread!'. A Google search returned thousands of results; ninety nine percent of them "corn bread". It was as if the universe was trying to tell me something.

I know when to take the hint: corn bread it is. All the recipes (and everyone in the groups I cross-posted to) said that cornbread must be made in a cast iron skillet for best results.

Of course, I didn't have a cast iron skillet but I wasn't prepared to let that deter me from the best side dish for chili con carne, ever.

I went immediately, looking for a recipe to start with as a base, with the added requirement of no cast iron. I settled on Ina Garten's Cheddar Jalapeno Cornbread.

I sought out the episode that shows Ina's demonstration of the cornbread. Because I had never made it before, I watched it a number of times (probably more than ten) and took copious notes. You can also watch the episode here, if you like:

I always make the recipe exactly as indicated the first time, taking notes on what worked, what didn't, how and what I would change the next time I make it and things that would make the process easier/faster.

The recipe (see link above) struck me as very bland.

In the base recipe, there is no spice component whatsoever, with the only flavor additives being salt, scallions and jalapeños.

When I made it again, I decided to play with spices, adding things I would normally add if I were making a pot of chili con carne.

I thought a lot about the fact that chili con carne is a campfire food...a meal a cowboy would eat; hearty and satisfying after a long day of being outdoors and being active. There's a flavor that only campfire cooking can add... which is smoke.

Keeping that in mind, I added:

• onion powder
• garlic powder
• chili powder (repeat and reinforce the smoky flavor)
• chipotlé powder (chipotlés are smoked jalapeños. I wanted to reinforce and repeat the smoky flavor and echo the jalapeños, again)
• cumin
• chili flakes
• smoked sea salt (repeat, reinforce)
• ground black pepper (black pepper hits different areas of the tongue; used for layering of flavor, not heat)
• smoked paprika (repeat, reinforce. Paprika also acts to color the cornbread that gives a beautiful "orange-y" color)

Here again, I will repeat my note on spices: spice and heat are not the same. Do not be afraid of spices. Spices mean flavor. Layered, reinforced flavors. This is what all those celebrity chef shows are talking about when they say things like, "depth of flavor"...."complexity of flavor".

Spices. Use them. Know them. Love them.

The batter is very easy to put together. It's a quick dish to make, with not many steps to follow. When I did it, I measured all of the dry ingredients into my mixing bowl and then made a well.

I mixed all of the wet ingredients together in a glass measuring cup. This means measuring once and dirtying only one dish.

Pour into the well you've made and mix thoroughly. You may find it helpful to lift up the bowl and check the bottom to make sure all of your flour is mixed in properly.

Notes on additives:

1. I used marble cheddar, because that's what I had on hand, when I made it. I also tried the recipe with the white cheddar as indicated. I preferred the taste of marble, overall.
   
2. Ina's recipe did not call for fresh garlic. I love garlic, so I added several cloves, finely chopped.
   
3. The original recipe called for the jalapeños to be seeded (the seeds and ribs have all of the heat). If you do not like spice, remove them and be careful not to touch your face, eyes or mouth when so doing. I like heat, so I left the seeds in and chopped them superfine in a miniature food processor. I used two whole jalapeños. I added them to the batter with the wet.
   
4. This batter can withstand the weight of additions without adding density. I used about a half cup of cooked, crumbled smoked (see what I did, there?) bacon. Interesting little bite, if you're into bacon.  

Notes on baking without Cast Iron:

You do not need a cast iron pan to make this recipe. It will still be good if you bake it in a standard 9x13" cake pan.  Cooking it in cast iron allows you to achieve that crispy, crunchy crust on the outside but keeping the soft, springy texture on the inside. This is because cast iron can take (and hold) a lot of fucking heat.

When I made this the first time, I used an oven safe stainless steel skillet (Lagostina, baby!) rated to 500⁰F. This is very important (obviously). Your skillet must be oven proofed.

Here's what I did:

• Heat the oven to the highest temperature rating your pan will allow (500⁰F, in my case) and heat it for approximately 30-45 minutes. Heat the pan DRY.
• Carefully take it out of the oven, and add a few tablespoons of oil. It will start to shimmer immediately, which means it's hot. 
• Add the batter. You will hear it sizzle, which is what you want. The sizzle is what gives you the crispy, crunchy crust.
• Turn the oven down to the indicated temperature and bake as usual.

I didn't like that the top of the bread was crusty and the bottom was not. So, when the cook time was done, I flipped it out onto a plate, inverted the bread back into the pan with the bottom up and allowed the bottom to crisp.

This is unnecessary; I'm a nitpicker and I wanted it to be perfect, because I like the "oohs" and "aahs" I get when I make something for people.

When I took the cake to my cousin's, she said it was "the best cornbread she'd ever had". I honest to God cried.

To me, this means so much more because she lived and worked in Louisiana for a long, long time. She knows her Southern Food.

Yes, Ma'am.

I must say though, Ina is remiss making the corn bread in a cake pan but we'll just pretend I didn't say that. The corn bread is 1,000 times better when made in cast iron.

I got a Cast Iron pan for Christmas, this year. What a game changer. My cornbread will never be the same.

Notes on cast iron cooking:

The heat is *no joke*. I wear two oven mitts on each hand and it is still screaming hot. Hot, hot hot!
If you accidentally touch it unprotected, even for just a second, you will know it.

I have a permanent scar. It took six weeks for that to properly heal. The skin broke twice and re-blistered. No matter: that cornbread will be worth it, every time.

Cast Iron is HEAVY, even when it is empty. If you are not confident in your upper body strength, get someone to help you. 

When it is done, it looks like this:

It's beautiful. I have made this at least a dozen times since, and have made some additional modifications. They are:

- adding one extra egg
- adding one half cup extra cornmeal. I use medium grind.
- increased baking temperature to 400⁰F and increasing the baking time to 40 minutes.

Allow to cool sufficiently before turning out and cutting, or your bread will crumble and break apart....if you can wait that long.

I usually can't.

Love.

Costco carrots

This post was born out of a need to do something with the biggest bag of carrots I have ever seen and could not resist, purchased at Costco.

On the other side of "what to do with 25 pounds of carrots that are about to go bad?" is "I need a recipe that will look great on my new platter" while taking the two liter bottle of tahini inhabiting the back of my refrigerator into consideration.

Yes, I also bought it at Costco. Frankly, I am sick of hummus (in every one of its incarnations) and I needed something different.

So I started Googling things.

There were so many recipes for roasted carrots with tahini sauce (and other accoutrements of varying degrees of fanciness), that it was hard to pick one.

I settled on a mashup of several recipes, starting with this one, from Katie's Bright Kitchen:

Katie's Bright Kitchen, Roasted Carrots with Tahini Drizzle

Katie's Bright Kitchen has adapted recipes for no sugar and no flour, making it gluten and dirty Keto-diet friendly.

It also looks as if diabetic exchanges have also been included

She's worked out all of the mathematics for this dish so you don't have to. Frankly, I just like my food to taste good, so I wasn't into thinking about it all that much. But, if that's the kind of chef that you are...this is likely the recipe for you.

Neither did I like the idea of not peeling my carrots, so that was strike two.

A stark absence of pistachios meant the end of this recipe, in my kitchen.

I also considered this recipe from the Forked Spoon, taking into account the 10,000 cans of chickpeas clogging my pantry (also Costco):

Forked Spoon, Carrots with Chickpeas

Then I found Simply Scratch's version of a similar recipe. It was written much more approachably (if my opinion counts for anything at all) and didn't appear to have been a poster ad for Whole Food's million dollar organic carrots.

Simply Scratch Turmeric Roasted Carrots

I really liked the idea of using turmeric. I had some in the fridge that I had bought on a whim and now had a reason to use it. Huzzah!

I set about peeling many, many carrots...

Sidebar: have you ever noticed the deeply meditative quality of vegetable peeling? I love peeling carrots. I glean tremendous enjoyment from the sound the peeler makes, sliding across the skin, whispering, "clean! Clean! Clean!" with every scrape of the blade.

(This may simply be a glaring indicator that I need to get out more?)

I love the way that carrots look, immediately after they've been peeled: bright, shiny and glistening. Almost as if peeling them has allowed their carrot-y awesomeness to finally be seen! 

I peeled the remainder of the bag; easily four pounds. Quartered them and put them in a freezer bag to mix with oil and spices (so much easier - and cleaner - than messing around with tongs and a bowl!).

We won't talk about the fact that I lost steam after prepping them all and left the bag of prepped veggies in the fridge to be cooked the next day (or two) later.

When I made them (finally), I didn't follow the recipe, really. I just jotted down the spices as indicated on the back of a scrap of paper and went to the kitchen to play.

A note on spices: I am not afraid of spices; flavor not heat. The two are not mutually exclusive. Generally people believe "spicy" to mean "hot". This is not the case. Spicy means that things have been spiced, or had spices added to them.

Cumin, for example, adds a distinctive flavor that adds no heat.

Also, I never really measure spices. My general rule of thumb is, "go til you can smell it".

In addition to the spices called for in the recipe, I added a few of my own.

To the carrots, I added (with the oil)

• fresh grated ginger (about 1 tsp)
• turmeric (a generous tsp)
• onion powder
• garlic powder
• black pepper
• paprika
• oregano
• chili flakes (pepper and chili flakes hit different spots on your tongue; different kinds of heat)
• mild chili powder (for the smoked flavor and color)
• cumin
• sea salt

I also added approximately 1 head of whole, peeled garlic cloves to the bag with the carrots. I like a lot of garlic. I also like what happens to garlic when roasted in the oven with oil. If you like less, use less.

Massage the carrots and oil and spices together in the bag until everything is lovely and coated. Your cooking oil will turn a lovely, marigold color and will become exceptionally fragrant.

The turmeric will dye the garlic cloves yellow. But it's such a lovely taste, you really shouldn't miss it.

I baked them at 425 for about 40 minutes. the edges of the carrots were just starting to caramelize and were just browning (remember: I had a lot of carrots).

I did not use the second baking sheet on top of the carrots (simply because I hadn't remember to do so). They turned out great.

Afterward, I transferred to my pretty new plate and topped with the sauce.

The sauce was easy to put together and was really, really tasty. I might have made it a little thin.

Next time, I plan to sprinkle the dish with some toasted sesame seeds, to really reinforce the sesame flavor. Thinking on it now, I might have used sesame oil to coat the carrots, rather than regular cooking oil.

Notes for my cooking journal, for next time.

Here's a picture, should you be interested after all that reading.

Love.

Move over *NSYNC: "Dirty Pop", Ashley style!

Hello, friends!

I successfully wrote and published one blog in the year 2016. I'd like for that to change: I like writing and I enjoy blogging.

I started several posts and never finished them, so perhaps this is the start of something new?

So, I thought that I would use my blog as part of my efforts to change myself and my life (for the better), using the internet (and all eleven of my regular readers - *thank you!*) to help keep me accountable.

What is she talking about, you ask?

This year, I gave up soda pop for Lent. It was literally a spur of the moment decision I made after seeing that another Facebook friend of mine had done the same.

"It can't be that hard," I figured. It's only forty days. I can give up soda for forty days. I've done much harder and come out fine.

Lent, for those of you who don't know, is a religious observation within Christian/Catholic doctrine that involves "giving up" or abstaining from something enjoyable for the forty days before Easter in recognition of the sacrifice made by Christ. It begins on Ash Wednesday and ends with Easter.

If you would like to know more about the Lenten season and what it is, read here.

Making the switch from regular pop to "zero-sugar" was difficult. It was actually this video that convinced me to make the switch:

After having made the switch to "zero" cola, I noticed the taste of the extra sugar and what the drastic difference in sugar content did to me. I no longer enjoy the taste of regular soda. It tastes like sugary syrup to me, which it basically is.

If you need more convincing, I invite you to watch this:

But giving it up totally was so much harder than I ever thought that it would be. No soda at all? You've got to be kidding me. You might as well ask me to climb Mount Everest or go SCUBA diving. But I basically SCUBA'ed myself into not drinking soda; because going whole-hogged, cold-turkey was the only way for me.

The first few days were awful. There were times I wanted a pop so badly, I thought I would cry. There were times I did cry. Not drinking pop is much harder than you think it is.

Soda pop is literally everywhere. It was even in my own house. I couldn't dare ask my PB to stop drinking it. It was literally all he drank. He wasn't observing Lenten abstinence, so why should I make him? It was that much harder.

To quote my own Facebook post:

"The struggle is real, people. Pop is everywhere: restaurants will give you as much pop as you want for the same price but charge for juice by the glass.

A bottle of water or still anything is twice the price of a can of pop...

Much like a nice, cold beer on a hot day...for some things, only a soda will do: a burger and fries is somehow not quite as great with a glass of ice water. Root beer floats without soda is just ice cream in a glass."

But I found substitutes: I drank juice. Lots of juice. Deeply watered down frozen concentrates, usually, because I can't stand the taste of aspartame, so Crystal Light was out.

I made it to the end of Lent: I thought that I would crack a can the second the clock struck midnight. But I didn't. I and I still haven't.

Disclaimer: I will be completely forthcoming and say that I have had a couple of sips, accidentally picking up PB's glass instead of my own...but I will also say that I spat it directly onto the table. Go ahead and stare, onlookers! I am not ashamed! I am keeping a promise to myself!

Ash Wednesday was March 1, 2017. Today is May 1, 2017; this means that I have not had soda in two months. Sixty days and counting, carbonation free.

I posted this, yesterday, on my Facebook page,

Just look at this picture of me (taken yesterday) in a comparison to this one, taken in April of 2016:

Left taken April 2016. Right taken yesterday, 60 days soda free.

The difference may be negligible to some. Yes, I know: either way, I am still fat. But for me, this isn't about fat, or skinny. This, this is about me.

This is about keeping a promise to myself.

If soda pop is the new cigarettes (and so far, everything I have read, watched heard and witnessed tells me it is), then I'm out.

Now if you've made it to the end of this post you're probably thinking, Holy crap. Is she done yet, or what?

The short version of that answer is yes and no.

The long version is much harder to explain: is this post finished? Yes. Am I finished with this? Is not drinking pop simply the end? I'm not sure.

I'm considering a sugar detox, with a goal of cleaner living or at the very least a drastically reduced sugar intake. To quote myself, again:

"So, I'm counting each pop-free day as a victory. I'm looking toward the next challenge. I'm considering a sugar detox - eliminating sugar from my diet - at least for a little while.

I'm doing the research and planning. As a baker, this seems near to impossible.

I have serious doubts: I love ice cream. Like a clandestine lover: it's a pleasure and indulgence that, for me, nothing else compares to..."

I'm not sure what it will look like, or entail but I want to try it. And I plan to write about it here.

The good, the bad and the ugly: it will be here. You can secretly snicker and laugh if you like. I'll never know. If you'd like to share some encouragement or tips, tricks/cheats, leave me a comment, here or on my Facebook page.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for all of your love and support.

xo: Little Miss Sunshine

The first Ever World Cerebral Palsy Day!

Hello friends!

Today is World Cerebral Palsy day. The first. Ever.

Disclaimer: I'm a bit crankier than normal today. Here's why: as a present for World Cerebral Palsy Day, my doctor gave me antibiotics and a urine test. For a kidney infection that I have apparently had...for weeks. The knife hot pain in my back at 4 am was enough to wake me up and go to hospital.

So while I wait for the next dose of pain meds, here's a little something for YOU for WCP Day.

Part of me wants to jump and down, the rest of me wants to stuff World CP Day.

Here's why: we have: Mental Health Day. Black History Month. Autism week. Eating disorder awareness week. We have 'spread the word to end the word' - the anti-'r' word campaign.

If there is a minority anywhere in our culture, we have a whole day on the freaking calendar dedicated to you and whatever affliction, non-WASP culture, environment, religion, belief or moray you subscribe to or come from.

Where is the 'Yay! You're *NOT* special!' day? Oh, right. Every other day is Yay! You're not special day! Yay, you're not different day!

See, here's the thing: I am so torn about this. Lots of people would say that they are proud of who they are and whatever condition, package or make-up they come in. And they should be. I am proud of who I am and who I will grow to be...

I am not proud to have CP. I am not proud to have something that makes me so obviously different from you. A birth defect is not a source of pride.

If you buy a television and it is defective, you take it to the store and they give you your money back and apologize to you. A store clerk says, "I'm sorry about that. Here. Let me get you another one".

They don't tell you to be proud of your broken television. There are no 'World Broken Television' days. They have a spot for them, though. It's called the dump. Where broken things go that no one wants.

This is not advocation for eugenics.

No one ever apologized to me: '...sorry that you are part of a culture that sees you as broken, and that this culture views broken things as disposable. Sorry that you are talked to with disdain and abject pity. Sorry: no matter how hard you try or what you accomplish it will never be good enough.'

     I seem to apologize an awful lot, without much to be sorry for.

No one ever apologized to my mother and father: '...sorry that you have to raise a daughter whom other people will treat as different, weird and unworthy. She will have special designations, labels and treatment her whole life. Sorry about what that will do to your marriage, your lives together as a couple and the strength of your family.

     What ever happened to that doctor? I bet he still has a license. I doubt I ever cross his mind.

No one ever apologized to my brother and sister: ...'sorry. Sorry that everything takes longer and is more time consuming. Sorry that you feel like your needs as kids, and maybe even adults are sometimes overlooked and/or forgotten because there is so much that your special sibling needs just to get through life.

     I hope that you get what you need now. 

In spite of never getting an apology or seeing the people I love most get the apologies they deserve so very much: I don't want one. I don't need one.

This is not a pity party.

If it's not an advocation for eugenics and it is not a pity party, then what is it?

It is an admonishment. It's a great big: f*** haters!

Things like Black History Month, Mental Health Awareness Day, Gay Pride, Spread the Word to End the Word exist because we, as a culture do not treat people as they deserve when they do not fit our tight little impossible, wheelchair-inaccessible-mentally/physically healthy-gender secure-"beautiful"- English speaking-heterosexual-intelligent-wealthy-non-smoking/drinking/addictions of any kind-you get the idea-mold.

They are salves. They are 'let's just forget all that and move on because we know better now' salves that stink. Putrefaction in a pretty package.

It is real. It is there. Even for those of you who do not see it. And especially for those going through it. Denying it does no good. Celebrating it underscores (at least for me) and highlights the "I am different from you in a way that no one wants to talk about without being uncomfortable".

So we accept it for what it is and we try as hard as we can to move forward, but not on. No matter what you do you can't move on. Moving on suggests leaving 'it' there and moving on without 'it'. You move forward and you drag it with you. Because you have to. You haven't a choice.

So we have one day. In some cases a month or a week. What are we to do the other 364 days, 11 months or 51 weeks every year?

We will do the same thing we always do. Wait for the next elevator....take a 45 minute detour because the subway stop is not accessible....be unemployed/under-employed. Bristle at empty compliments and praise exalting bravery for common-place things. Sometimes, we will cry, rage, and triumph. I will pretend not to know that you look at me and feel bad for me - whether you admit it or not. We will forgive your ignorance because you supposedly don't know better. Or you should.

Today, on World Cerebral Palsy Day, I choose to see it as moving forward.

But it's not pride.

I am not awesome because I have Cerebral Palsy. I am not awesome in spite of the fact that I live with Cerebral Palsy. I am awesome. Full stop.

Good-night, lovelies! xo